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"Most distressing to those who love the game of golf is the applauding or cheering of misplays or misfortunes of a player. Such occurrences have been rare at the Mini Masters but we must eliminate them entirely if our patrons are to continue to merit their reputation as the most knowledgeable and considerate in the world."
(Written April, 2008)
Divine Intervention
Father Norton wakes up to a beautiful and sunny Sunday morning and decides he just has to play golf. He pretends he’s sick and convinces the associate pastor to say Mass for him that day, then heads out of town to a golf course about 40 miles away so he won’t run into anyone from his parish. On the first tee, he sees that he has the entire course to himself—everyone else is in church!
Watching all this from the heavens, Saint Peter leans over to the Lord and asks, "Are you going to let him get away with this?"
Just then Father Norton hits the ball and it heads straight for the pin, dropping just short of it, rolls up and falls into the hole-a 420 yard hole in one!
Astonished, St. Peter looks at the Lord and asks, "Why in Heaven did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiles and replies, "Who’s he going to tell?"
Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn't you?
Golfer: Why do you keep looking at your watch?
Caddy: This isn't a watch, sir. It's a compass.
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: Oh, he's played with you, too, huh?
Golfer: ''Caddy, why didn't you see where that ball went?''
Caddy: ''Well, it doesn't usually go anywhere, Mr. Smith. You caught me off guard.''
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